Don’t Let These Vegan Moms Discourage You In The Search For Your Tribe

Forming a circle of like-minded parents is a really important part of raising kids, especially as you navigate the challenges of being a plant-based family. Don’t let these types of vegan moms on the internet discourage you as you find your tribe.

Woman sitting in her bedroom in the dark looking at her Apple computer

If you’re new to the idea of raising plant-based families, you might be looking for some like-minded mom friends to add to your circle.

If you’re anything like me, perhaps you began this search in the easiest way could think of – by scouring the internet.

But like everything else on the world wide web, the search for plant-based parenting resources comes with a lot of noise. The “who” can be as overwhelming as the “what” that appears in search results.

The good news is that your tribe is out there (I promise!). The unfortunate news is that, in the beginning, you’ll probably run across some of the moms described in this post.

They’re often found hanging out in vegan parenting communities. You may come across their personal blogs or Instagram accounts because of their large social media followings.

This can be off-putting, but I encourage you to trudge through the early stages of veg-parenting with a sense of humor. Like I always say, you’re doing a great job and everything is going to be okay.

Below are 4 plant-based moms you’ll likely run across on the internet as you search for your allies.

Hippie lady

The extra crunchy on the side of burnt vegan mom

I was in a plant-based community once where a mom posted that her son had a diaper full of worms. WORMS. And she was asking others what holistic approaches she could take to eradicate the problem, because she didn’t want to take him to the doctor.

In the lengthy comment thread there were recommendations for various essential oils and vitamin supplements.

Thankfully, the thread was eventually closed to comments and an admin advised the woman to take her child to a medical professional because he clearly had an effing parasite.

Look, I would self identify as “moderately crunchy”. I veer toward a healthy degree of granola that’s not at all clouded by a lack of common sense.

And you’ll find that much of the vegan parenting community has similar traits. Many of us do our best to live and raise our kids as holistically as we can, while recognizing that sometimes other interventions are necessary.

Raising a plant-based family doesn’t mean that you automatically subscribe to an anti-medicine way of life. In fact, I pray that you don’t.

Choose a level of crunchiness that you’re comfortable with, but don’t lose your common sense in doing so.

Jars of prepared food

The clean eating, meal prep madness, flawless vegan mom

Do any kind of food or health-related internet search and you’ll find countless sites promoting free meal plans, meal prep tips, and other advice from moms who appear flawless in their ability to both feed their families and excel at everyday life.

Maybe it’s a mom who does daily live videos of her amazing family meals or who offers a beautiful ebook full of her own recipes. Maybe she does all the things in full makeup and high heels, and you never hear kids screaming in the background.

Good for her! Her life doesn’t affect you.

This is called the highlight reel, and of course it’s not unique to the plant-based community.

Raising a plant-based family doesn’t mean that you have to become a coupon clipping, Sunday night freezer prepping, anti-carry out, organic only, meal planning overachiever.

If this is your thing, that’s great. If not, don’t let this discourage you.

The majority of moms are not represented by the few that lead in Google results.

Mom and child walking down the road alone

The you’re-not-vegan-enough mom-shaming vegan mom

There’s a phenomenon that reaches far beyond regular mom-shaming into an entirely new level of intensity. It’s called vegan mom-shaming.

That’s right, judging other moms can get even uglier when you niche it down to those of us trying to raise compassionate, environmentally-aware kids.

Do you eat cheese outside the home? Did you let your kid have Halloween candy other than Starbursts? Do you vaccinate? Do you expose your infant to the occasional dairy and eggs to try and prevent allergies to these later? Are you still wearing those Uggs you bought eight years ago?

You’re not vegan enough.

At least, that’s what these moms will tell you. If you’re not doing absolutely everything possible to avoid animal products, you’re not doing a good enough job.

And you should feel terrible about your so-called parenting.

The truth is, these types of moms are like any other trolls hiding behind their keyboards. But that doesn’t make them any less discouraging.

Here’s the most widely accepted definition of veganism from The Vegan Society:

“Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.”

The Vegan Society

What’s possible and practicable is entirely subjective.

What that means to you and your family is an entirely personal decision. And whatever you choose to practice, I guarantee it’s far more vegan than most of the other people on this planet. Oh snap.

Beach with footprints

The tropical island-inhabiting, unattainable lifestyle vegan mom

Look, we’d all love to whisk our families away to a tropical paradise and live off the land, sipping fresh pineapple juice and making green smoothies out of things we pulled from our backyards.

Or, maybe we’d just like a momcation there to like, use the bathroom in peace, or lay on the beach without being trampled on. But, reality.

When you search for social media’s favorite vegan mamas, you’re going to come across some of these beautiful people. And they are beautiful.

They’re providing a wonderful experience and life for their family, and doing it in some of the most exotic places and with minimalist approaches. Truly living off the land in some cases, and teaching their children some great values.

It’s a nice picture, but let’s not pretend like this scenario is remotely relatable.

Raising a plant-based family doesn’t mean that you have to grow your own food, throw out all of your material possessions, live out of your van, homeschool, water-birth, breastfeed until your kids are a certain age (or at all), or anything that anyone else might be doing.

Be the veg-mom you want to be

The moral of the story is this.

You don’t need to mimic what anyone else is doing to do what’s best for your family. There is no “best” way to raise a plant-based family, and there’s no one person who can tell you how to do it. Embrace the uniqueness of your approach and do the best you can. This isn’t a race and, despite how it feels sometimes (for all moms, vegan or not), we’re all on the same team.

You do you, mama.

3 women friends

Find your tribe

Nothing beats real-life relationships with parents who share similar values. It’s also nice to have virtual friends who “get” you, and places where you can find support at the press of a button.

Below are some of my recommendations for where to find veg-mom friends.

Vegan Pregnancy & Parenting – This is a Facebook community of parents raising plant-based kids. They discuss everything from recipes to handling social events to talking to your kids about veganism. Keep in mind that anyone can join this group, so you’ll get lots of opinions. Please be sure to consult a trained medical or nutrition professional in real life for expert advice.

Local Vegan Facebook Groups – Search for vegan communities made up of people in your state. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through my journey it’s that vegan parents love connecting with other vegan parents. So, if you’re unsure whether there are parents in that group – post and ask!

Meetup.com – This is a great place to find real-life groups of like-minded people. Search for plant-based groups, parenting groups, and a combination of the two. They typically have regular meetups in your area, and you can reach out to the organizer with any questions.

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